“It’s hard to fathom another society, especially a troubled one, hard to figure its contradictions, measure its attitudes, see it in its underpants.”

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

“I worry that if you live forever you will lose the urge to bring intensity to your life. In fact, my life is given that much more meaning knowing that I’m going to die, and I use that to exploit every moment on earth. If I had a full life, I’d say what Einstein said when they said, ‘We can operate on you and prolong your life,’ and he said, ‘My work is done.’”

“It used to be that if you wanted to get from poverty into the middle class, you get a college education and you buy a home. Now, with underwater mortgages and extremely high student debt, that’s the way to get from middle class into poverty. The American dream’s kinda upside down/inside out right now.”

“Evolution does exist in history, and it is recapitulated in effective child-rearing.”

“Well, I was on my way to this gay gypsy Bar Mitzvah for the disabled, when I suddenly thought, “Gosh, the Third Reich’s a bit rubbish — I think I’ll kill the Führer”.”

“Yo, the bitch was like ‘What?’ And I was like ‘Later on!’”